How To Apologize For Hurting Someone You Love

It’s never an easy feeling when you know you’ve hurt someone. Even worse when it’s someone you love and care about. The fact that you’re considering ways to apologize for the pain means you want to keep things right in the relationship.

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A sincere apology should express regret for the hurtful things you did to your loved one.

These are ways to apologize and say sorry for hurting someone you love.

framed sorry quote on table next to half-filled mug
Photo by Toa Heftiba

Tell them how sorry you are

The best way to sincerely apologize to someone is to tell them in words how sorry you are. You can’t automatically assume that they know you’re sorry.

Even if they do know, it’s more sincere if you tell them straight to their face. Even if they may not accept your apology, you should still do everything you can to at least try.

Take responsibility for your actions

If you want to apologize for hurting them, you have to admit your mistake.

Accountability is not the easiest thing in the world. It’s always hard to face what we’ve done, especially if it resulted in us hurting someone we love. But, and admitting where you went wrong is crucial if you want to fix things.

Taking responsibility for the pain you have caused is an essential step if you want your apology to be accepted.

Give them time and space

Giving them space may sound counterproductive, but some people need time and space to process what you’ve done. It’s a journey they have to take before deciding whether to forgive you or not.

They may want to weigh things up and decide how much they value your relationship over what you’ve done. If they already know you’re sorry and have taken responsibility, but they still haven’t forgiven you, space is all they need.

The more you push them to forgive you, the more likely they won’t.

Show you’ve changed

Actions will always speak louder than words. So if you want to make sure your sincerity comes across, it’s best to change your way of doing things. Make a sincere effort to get better and learn from your mistakes.

Show the person you love that you are doing your best not to repeat your mistake. Let them know through your actions that you never want to hurt them again.

Keep reassuring them

If the person you hurt keeps bringing up your fault, it generally means that they are still hurt by it, and they are still hurt by it.

So if they feel insecure, keep telling them how sorry you are and that you will do your best not to hurt them again. Give them words of encouragement to hold onto and make sure you’re sincere with your comments.

Assure them that they will allay their concerns, but let your guarantees be what you can keep.

Make honest gestures

Speak from your heart and be sincere by showing how sorry you are for hurting them. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture to get someone to forgive you, but it’s all about making a gesture that matters.

Apologies only work if you speak from your heart. So don’t hesitate to be vulnerable and honest when apologizing. Then they can hear and see what you are trying to suggest.

Don’t play the blame game

When we apologize, we often don’t feel our weakest, so we play the victim. We try to blame someone or something else – everything but ourselves.

Sometimes we even go as far as blaming the victim, even when we know it’s our fault. The fact that you’re hurting them, even if it’s unintentional, should be concrete enough for you to apologize.

Accept the blame and say sorry – it’s that simple.

Don’t take your blame on them

The person you hurt may never accept your apology. Or forgiveness may not come as quickly as you expect. It’s easy to get frustrated when someone doesn’t accept your apology.

Understand that forgiveness can sometimes be difficult for people. Especially if what you’ve done is extremely painful. You can’t get them to forgive you by unleashing your guilt and anger on them. Instead, understand and acknowledge their feelings.

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